Your DNA Might Give You Brown Or Blue Eyes But It Doesn't Shape Who You Are…

Turns out I couldn’t use that as my excuse for my lack of emotional regulation.

While genetics play a role in our personality, over the years, this role becomes smaller and smaller. We are being shaped daily by different environments, individual experiences, the unique and contrasting people we spent time with and even the learning we do. The time we spend on social media, reading books, and taking courses, all contribute to the person we are. You are crafting yourself every day, you just may not realise it.

Getting intentional, becoming self-aware and analysing yourself will allow you to craft the best version of yourself.

If you think that your genes are who you are destined to be, then I have great news for you! The belief that our genes determine our fate is a common misconception, and the research backs it up! Our DNA might give us a predisposition to certain personality traits, for example, I am a natural empath and very persistent, but I also used to be very sarcastic and inflexible. I have learned over the years to be self-aware, if you would like to know more about self-awareness then check out that blog HERE. It’s through self-awareness that I was able to take a look at myself and choose the traits that I wanted to keep, the ones I wanted to let go of and the ones that I would like to gain.

You can coach yourself to be the exact person you want to be. Now with ADHD, that was a hell of a battle, I already lived with severe executive dysfunction which causes memory problems, poor self-control, poor time management and almost zero organizational skills. But I knew what kind of person I wanted to be. I wanted to be that type of person who was organised, on time and had a good idea of what she wanted in her future. I wanted to be responsible, dependable and reliable. I wanted to be kind, understanding and accepting. I had a long way to go!

But once I realised it was more about being self-aware and building the habits and systems that would yield those results, I realised what many of us don’t and that is, that you aren’t born to be a certain way… you are born to create your own experience, to design the person you want to be. When I realised this, it set me free from the DNA chains that caused me to hate myself.

I didn’t have to be anyone other than who I chose to be and neither do you.

While genetics can influence your personality, your genetics are not the sole determining factor, and even though your environment, experiences and choices all play a crucial role in shaping who you are… it’s imperative to realise that you have control over all of those.

There has been nothing more valuable to me in my life, than learning that with some effort and awareness, I can be whoever I choose to become. I am not fixed into anything.

I think this is a very important lesson to deliver to the closest people in your life, whether that be your children, spouse, siblings or closest friends.

And if you’re sitting there listening and thinking you’re too old to make those changes… then I have good news for you too! The science doesn’t back up your theory, it is NEVER too late to teach an old dog new tricks.

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A little each day becomes a lot 👣