The Secret Downside Of Being The \"Boss\": The Emotional Toll of Always Being \"On\"

Being a leader is often considered a dream job. You get to be in charge, make decisions, and lead a team towards success. You have a fancy job title, a corner office, and the respect of your peers. But this all comes with a pretty hefty price tag! You feel like you can’t get shit wrong! The weight on the shoulders of leaders can have some pretty detrimental implications for your health if you don’t put yourself first.

Most don't realize that being the boss comes with many hidden downsides - one of the biggest I felt as the CEO of my company is the emotional toll of always being "on".

While it may seem glamorous, the reality for some is that being the boss can be extremely stressful, lonely, and emotionally draining. As leaders, you tend to put even more pressure on yourself and as a result of always “showing up” and “being on” you can start to lose who you are. My identity often became intertwined with my music career and this left me with serious identity issues. I didn’t know who I was outside of my business, outside of leading. That’s why I decided to finally make the career move that makes me happy, that fills me with passion and joy because even though I was great at what I did, I no longer had the passion for it. It was causing me stress, and anxiety and I was no longer feeling inspired. Instead of leaving when I should have, I kept going until my body decided it was time. There was no way my mental health would take it anymore.

That’s when I started to experience severe burnout. One of the most common issues that bosses face is burnout. As the leader of a company or team, you are responsible for the success of the organization, and when things are going well, you’re the best thing since sliced bread, and when they aren’t you’re out there on your own with everyone questioning what exactly happened and where YOU went wrong.

Perhaps one of the biggest emotional tolls of being the boss is the feeling of loneliness. When you are the boss, it can be difficult to form close relationships with your team. You are the person in charge, and there is a certain level of distance that is required. Your team might head out for dinner to celebrate a group birthday or a night of karaoke and drinks for fun. You have to wonder if it’s ok for you to join. What if some deem it unfair, or irresponsible? Working as the CEO of my own company, this is completely my decision and I have found a way to balance my position in leadership and my personal life in a way that my staff still respect me.

When you feel alone you may also start to feel isolated and like you have a lack of social support, which can ultimately impact your mental health and well-being.

Despite these challenges, there are ways that bosses can mitigate the emotional toll of always being "on". One of the most important things that bosses can do is to come from a place of leadership, respect, and values. This means focusing on building relationships with your team, communicating effectively, and being transparent in your decision-making process. When your team trusts you and feels that they are part of a shared vision, it can lead to increased productivity and a more positive work environment. I go above and beyond for my team, always rewarding them and investing in them. I treat them as well as I do my closest family and friends.

Lastly, make sure you have a strategy for mitigating the emotional toll of being a leader. Self-care means taking care of your physical and mental health, setting boundaries, and making time for hobbies and other activities that bring you joy.

Taking care of yourself can help you to be a more effective leader and can ultimately benefit the organization as a whole. I spend a lot of time on personal care in my later years. I work out, meditate, go for massages, saunas, red light therapy, dry floats and lots of nights out for dinner! I do the things that make me feel happy and fulfilled so I can give the best of myself to my team.